Accepting Loss


Raising four kids over my many ‘mom’ years has taught me some interesting and valuable lessons about forgiveness. I’m still learning lots on the subject, but I’ve realized it isn’t about the other person or the offender at all. No ~ As selfish as it sounds, It’s about the “me, myself and I”, before the Lord, in the situation, and His power and His strength in us, giving us the ability, to accept the loss or the hurt, regardless of how deep it may go! You see, beautiful one, We have to get closer to God in order to forgive and accept any loss graciously. Simple ‘acceptance’ releases the chained weight of bitterness that binds and tugs around the ankle! Simple acceptance of whatever it is that’s gone down, is like a key clicked in the lock that sets us free of the offense! Yeah, simple, straight forward acceptance! It’s the only way! Only in acceptance of the loss, can I ever ‘begin’ to heal in the whole healing process. Let me tell you ~ It won’t be instant, it never is, but just as time heals a surgery, a wound, or a broken bone; the broken heart, the pain of offense and the hurt of loss also heals with time, if we’ve accepted the loss before our Lord who lost His life at the hands of the angry mob. What did He do? He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” They weren’t asking but He accepted His brutal treatment and ultimate loss of life on the cross and all for us, who are so undeserving! So must we ask God to forgive them and “accept” our lot and our loss. You see, when we accept the loss, it can’t get any worse so, what does it matter? It’s done! it’s over! It’s happened and we can’t change it! So we accept it and we learn from it! We forgive and we are forgiven over and over and over again in this life and each time we must move on, hopefully a little smarter and a little wiser in our journey!

Think of it this way! Have you ever forgiven your kids, even when they haven’t asked? When they’re young, we do don’t we? And in their child-like simplicity they forgive us when we fail them in their little worlds, so big to their concerns. It’s all in a days work and just a valuable part of training in kids-world and parenting. However, as they get older with their own minds and rebellious behaviors, it becomes a little more “adult like” difficult and chances are they’re not asking because they don’t care. So, rather than harbor it, holding it against them for the rest of their life, ~ we have to accept what they’ve done, forgive and let it go, or we’ll be the losers really. Yeah, sadly maybe ten times a day or more and always with the knowledge of another day tomorrow with most likely more of the same scenario. Remember the offender seldom asks nor do they have the ability nor power to heal and if we depend on the offender for our healing we may take the bitterness to our grave.
~k

Matthew 18: 21, 22
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

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Words Fitly Spoken

“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”
Proverbs 17:9

So often our first choice of defense over an offense is a reactionary retaliation through words and gossip. Somehow, because we hurt, we are under the false impression that this method will fix things, but in reality it only drives the hurt deeper, makes the pain more excruciating and continues to destroy the relationship. How many reputations have we insulted and characters have we maligned by repeating ‘what we know, or sadly, what we ‘think’ we know?” On the contrary, God’s economy is so different! It’s a sweet place of peace, where love is a spiritual warfare, and forgiveness of the offense is our healing.

Proverbs 17:27 confirms the joy that comes when we speak respectfully of and to others. “A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!” Good words given to others not only encourage the listener but come back to bless the giver. How true that is. Where biting words will come back to bite, kind words will come back to bless! Have you seen it in your own life? Have your dished out bitterness to find bitterness returns to lodge in your own heart? Proverbs 15:23 gives a beautiful picture of regal stature and eloquent speech, with it’s analogy of gold and silver. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” How rich are the words of the wise and the timely words of the understanding, sensitive speakers. A word fitly spoken is a speech of excellence manifesting God’s spirit of life within us as He directs our hearts and our thoughts toward the person in need. The right word at the right time, given with discernment, gives a most beautiful gift to the down and out, the outcast, the discouraged, the despairing, the disappointed, the heavy-hearted, the guilt ridden and the fearful! The person in need of forgiveness is in need of a good word, not an attack and not gossip! Have you had words lately? Remember to make them sweet, without flattery, seasoned with salt, of course, but sweet, gentle and kind. Remember Proverbs 25:11 reminds us How important are the words that come out of our mouth?

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The Worry ~ Fear Spin


So, there’s a whole lot of world spinning around you and a whole lot of noise and the good ole’ days have jollied along South and left you to fend for yourself in that heap of spinning debris whirling in your mind. Yeah, the good ole’ days ~ the days when life just seemed a whole lot simpler and much more enjoyable. It was smooth sailing then wasn’t it and life was carefree? Today it seems that fears lurk in the corners and nip at your heels. The kids grow up and want their space! They show their colors as personalities take shape. They demand, they want, they fuss and tantrum and parenting is hard! The money wanes! Pressures mount! The work-a-day world is a joke and worry is gut – wrenching and real and cruel and taunts and teases and distracts and if we give it a place it destroys us from the inside out. It sideswipes! Runs us off- track and if we’re not careful, ~ “Out of the race.”

There’s a bunch of us that know it and know it well and know it’s grip and know how it grabs us and snatches us into it’s vices, tossing us about in the wind, yet it’s relentless to free us and let us go.


Oh yeah, have you been there, or are you right now, right there? Right smack dab in the middle of the worry spin? Beautiful you, when it’s caught you in it’s grip, look to the LORD for help and say with confidence the song of the Psalmist in Psalm 121: 1-2:

“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.”

Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Psalm 56:3
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

Worry and trust do not live together in the same mind or the same heart, so beautiful soul, it’s one or the other. Why not snatch the trust, Grab it! hang on to it! Stand firm on it and believe God’s promises are true. Refuse the enemy’s take charge ability to break through your defense line ~ your beautiful mind! Your beautiful soul.
God’s got this! Let Him have all of it!

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