Some childhood memories are so traumatic for us as we grow up that even the smallest things leave a huge impression and have so much impact that we don’t forget them, ever. I remember one such incident when I was young ~ oh maybe about 6 or 7 years of age that still makes me shiver with fear. I loved the great outdoors where my make-believe world could be an orange Wednesday if I wished or perhaps blue or a favorite pink if I really wanted it to be! All I had to do was imagine that it was, and it colored the beauty of my imaginary world with pure fun and excitement! It was back in the day when a kid’s life wasn’t regimented with schedules and pressure to perform and excel, but just to be a simple kid and enjoy the simplicity of it all ~ or most of it. Sometimes, even on pink Wednesdays, things could get quite complex, and my simple imaginations were taken over by realistic events that weren’t imaginary at all, but very, very real ~ oh how I wish some of those moments had been only in my dreams. One time, when I thought no bad thing could break through the pinkness of my day, my child sized hand touched a telephone pole and when I pulled it away I found it crawling with bird lice ~ and my pink day full of my fun, pink, imaginations very quickly darkened and overshadowed with fear. Need I say, this was not my idea of a fun time! It was traumatic and what does a six-year-old do when the hand is totally covered with these tiny crawling things that won’t shake off, no matter how hard you try?
Well I did the only thing that I knew what to do ~ I screamed and ran, and of course the hand came with me ~ it wasn’t going anywhere, neither were the creepy crawlies going away either. They just came along for the ride. Where to go and what to do? Well, thankfully at six years of age, I wasn’t far from the comfort of home and so the house was first choice, right to mom in the kitchen, crying through my fears and my tears! It was just like her to know how to make it all go away as she calmly took my wrist and guided my hand to the faucet at the kitchen sink where clean, fresh, running water washed the trauma of creepy crawlies away! It was then I just knew it was going to be ok. Just like that they were gone and my hand was clean and although my heart was still pounding, my ‘kid’ day became very pink again, just the way I liked it! Oh it left a horrible memory, but the fear was gone and you can be sure I stayed far away from the telephone pole for years. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t touch even it to this day, if given the chance. 😦 The memories are just too horrific. If only all the drama and trauma of our real life events and experiences could be so easily dispersed and made ok once again, wouldn’t life be ok after all? But they can’t and so we trudge through loading each difficult time on our shoulders just to make it to the next day.
I thought of that this morning as I thought of how our hearts can be so delighted with our joys and some days our walk with Christ can be so very pink, or so purple ~ or maybe bright, cheery yellow until something gets in the way, distracting us from the good things and then our minds wander, and our hearts follow and our hands get dirty and our hearts get soiled with sin and our day becomes shadowed with darkness and guilt ~ perhaps fear. Oh they’re not nice days ~ not nice days at all. As an adult, we may live there for a while under the guilt of it all, but sooner or later, the guilt becomes too much to manage and it’s not just our hand but our heart that needs cleansing! Where do we run for help? We run home to the only one who can take care of it ~ and it’s not mom this time, but it’s our Heavenly Father who can wash us clean and remove the stain, the guilt and the fear from our hands and the stain from our heart and soul. You see, His blood covers us for that and His graces graces us for that and His mercy pardons us for that, and His blood ~ ahh yes, His perfect, spotless blood cleanses us from all unrighteousness. He says it’s “ok” now, and we can go back to our pink or yellow or blue days where all is right with our world because all is right with our God.
Oh, the lessons of our childhood write stories on our hearts that shape our souls. No matter how traumatic yours was, and for whatever reason, it has moulded you into who you are and God had and still has a purpose in it for you. He uses each moment, whether good, bad or traumatic to shape us and bring us to this “now” moment, where we are today. Sometimes it’s in the college of hard knocks where we learn our most valuable lessons for life’s journey! Sometimes it’s in the kindergarten of simple things like a hand covered in creepy crawlies, so traumatic at the time, but so easily fixed under running water, that comes to mind ~ refreshing the soul, because in it there’s a lesson to be learned ~ a deep, spiritual lesson just for us, that we can glean from.
Ahhh yes, He fashions so much good from so much bad and that’s what He does ~ I love how He does it. I love how God takes all the bad that’s happened to us or our loved ones because of the sinful nature of the world and He recycles it to make it good and new and pink and clean and fresh and just right for the work that He has for us and the purpose that He has for us to fulfil. Take heart beautiful soul, God has you covered!
“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”
1 John 1:7
“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.
1 John 2: 1, 2
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Hope and Healing In Hard Places 